


Screen C.A.P.S. 3: The young grump and the living seas, or: water we going to do with these repressed emotions?

by justinsbuzz



Series: Screen C.A.P.S., with Connie, Amethyst, Peridot, and Steven! [4]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21913207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justinsbuzz/pseuds/justinsbuzz
Summary: Lapis gets into the mix, while Steven contemplates if he is really a bad person. Spoiler Alert: he isn't cause he's not cannon Steven, and none of this is either cannon, nor logical.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: Screen C.A.P.S., with Connie, Amethyst, Peridot, and Steven! [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1481819
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Screen C.A.P.S. 3: The young grump and the living seas, or: water we going to do with these repressed emotions?

**Author's Note:**

> Goes without saying, what lies beyond this point, appart from mini green, TV-eating gremlins, is spoilers. not a ton, mind you, cause this weekend's episodes were lacking somewhat. not a bad thing...just seems like things might get worse before they get better. also, strong language. it's been a rough week, and hoping to have more time to rest.

Screen C.A.P.S. 3: The young grump and the living seas, or: water we going to do with these repressed emotions?

The TV in the living room switched off, and a reflection showed on the TV screen of 3 people. Steven sat on one edge of the couch, keeping his distance from the other two gems, Lapis and Peridot. Peridot had seemingly latched herself to Lapis’ side, while sustaining a very high-pitched squeak. Lapis, on the other hand, shared the same look of disbelief as Steven.

“I…I can’t believe what I just saw.” Lapis said in a flat tone.

“I know, Right?! They turned me into a grumpy old man! I’m not 34 yet!” Steven said, trying to keep himself together. “Am I really doing everything I can to avoid my problems?”

“There’s that…but…me?” Lapis said, grimacing.

“You.” Peridot said, looking up at Lapis. “You were so Awesome!”

“I…can think of another word.” Lapis spoke. “Just…I was so…happy? Cheerful? Did they make me take meds, Steven? Freaking uppers?”

“That…that was a…hmm…” Steven wanted to pick his words clearly. He did just see what Lapis was capable of on the TV. “Strange?”

Lapis looked over at Steven, but before she could shoot a reply, she stopped herself, and sighed.

“Very. Like…I was deep and broody in the past. I was introverted. I just wanted to read and watch reruns with my friends, and…roommates.” Lapis said calmly, putting an arm around Peridot. “But now…I’m…I dunno. That doesn’t feel like me. but the weirdest part was…my skin…”

“Your skin?” Steven asked, not quite sure what she means.

“They…it’s like they made it…brighter…” Lapis said, trying to figure out what was going on. But before she could do anything concrete, the front door opened and two people walked in. taking off her jacket, Connie made a B-line to Steven, grabbed a blanket, and curled up right next to him.

“Waaaarrrrrmmmm!!!” Connie said, sounding like she was shivering.

That blizzard finally rolled in?” Steven asked, looking down at his side, where Connie sat, curled up tightly and leaning right on top of Steven for extra warmth.

“Yeah…it did…But to be fair, I thought we would get the car loaded up before it hit.” Connie said, trying to sound reasonable. 2 minutes into the second episode, Steven remembered Connie throwing her arms up into the air, getting her boots, jacket, hat, and scarf on, and marching out with a duffle bag of clothes. She marched out, and after a few moment’s marched back in to grab Steven’s bag as well to put into the Dandai. Steven was reluctant on packing a bag and going on a road trip. But at the same time, along side Connie, he too, had some questions he wanted to ask. For now, though, he wrapped an arm around Connie, and stroked her arms to warm her up.

“Connie? Are you sure about this?” Steven asked, looking into her tired eyes. “Going all the way to Burbank, which is 2,819 miles from here, to talk to a group of artists and writers seems to be a little bit extreme. And according to the internet, it would take us 43 hours to get there without stopping.”

“Hmm…so…10 hours of riving time a day…stopping twice for 30-minute stops…hotels…we could be there by next Saturday before they air the final 2 known episodes.” Connie said, calculating a schedule in her head. “And also, going an even 2,820 would be going too far. This…this feels right.” 

Normally, after the night’s episodes, she would be brooding and annoyed. Tonight, on the other hand, she seemed completely unphased with everything that happened tonight. But the act alone of packing up the Dandai like it was something she played out in her head many times before was almost unsettling. But not as unsettling as Steven felt when he saw another version of himself acting odd, and out of character.

‘what happened that made me into…that’ Steven thought to himself, his stomach tightening up so much, Connie nearly felt it. ‘He was…I was…no, he was way out of character. Putting all of these responsibilities…’

“These responsibilities will be the end of him.” Steven blurted out without even noticing that he said it. By the time he did though, nearly everyone nodded in agreement. Amethyst was the only one who sat on a reclining chair on the other end of the couch. She stared blankly at Peridot. There were stars in her eyes, and they were darted at Lapis. Amethyst did not seem to be going too great. Out of everyone, she felt abandoned by a friend, and feeling like she’s being left behind. Steven looked over at Amethyst, and saw the worry in her eyes.

“So…um…Amethyst…thoughts?” Steven asked, trying to get a conversation going while being hugged by a living snow woman.

“Like?” Amethyst said flatly, looking depressed.

“Like…anything coming to mind?” Steven asked, looking worried.

“Hollow…” Amethyst murmured as she slumped lower into her chair.

“Hollow…that’s an interesting take on it. How so?” Steven inquired on her point of view on the episodes.

“Hollow…as in…when the hell did he became a vegetarian?” Amethyst said, sounding annoyed. “Like, ‘I’ve been a vegetarian for, like, a month.’?! What kind of trope is that?! You love hot dogs, you’ve eaten fried eggs and salmon with a bunch of cream cheese on it and lived to tell about it. This…WHO WAS THAT SCARY PERSON ON THE TV, Steven!?”

This struck a deep chord with everyone around him. It was a question everyone wanted to know. That included Steven himself.

“I…” Steven tried to speak, but was cut off again.

“Yeah…not going to lie…you’re 16. Or 17. Honestly, I try not to think about it, but…that was not Steven.” Connie said, latching tightly to Steven’s arm. “That Steven…That wasn’t you, Steven. not the one we know.”

Amethyst nodded furiously.

“Damn right that isn’t!” Amethyst fervently agreed. “Like…our Steven. You, Steven. you actually take breaks from all that stuff. You eat a perfectly balanced breakfast. By that, I mean he makes sure everything on his plate could easily be balanced on Pearls nose. She’s got talent.”

Amethyst knew that Steven was on edge about all of this. She didn’t want him to feel alienated by some other version of him. The best she could do is separate the two with comedic relief. Steven knew this. Looking at each other briefly, Steven thanked her mentally with a smile and mouthing thank you, as everyone spoke in agreement.

“Yeah…that guy…Not sure if cloning organic things is possible within the Diamond empire.” Lapis began to hypothesize. “But if it is, this is definitely the work of someone who has it out for you, Steven. or maybe even your mom. But I doubt there would be anyone who want’s a piece of you, right?”

No more than 2 seconds went by before the entire room bursted out in laughter. The notion that there is no one out there that wants to destroy Steven is purely crazy. There will always be someone, but they’ll be ready for them. In the mean time though, in the show, they were left to wonder what had happened.

“True, Lapis. There’s always going to be someone…but for Cannon grumpy Steven…what if it wasn’t a clone?”

“The clone thing was a joke.” Peridot and Lapis said at the same time. Amethyst could do nothing but cringe.

“Well…yeah…but…what happened to me?” Steven asked, looking around. “Why was I so…grumpy. Authoritative. Removed. Nearly becoming an estranged person to everyone else?”

“I…I have some guesses, but it might mostly be just a trope in the show.” Amethyst replied.

“What kind of trope?” Lapis asked, looking intrigued.

“The whole angsty teenager trope. The kind where someone just wakes up and out of nowhere decides to go vegan without telling anyone. Next thing we know, he’ll be dying his hair pink, or painting his nails black. Piercings. He’s just…he might go full tilt emo.” Amethyst explained.

“Oh, don’t you dare say that about my innocent biscuit!” Connie snapped. “He’s no emo. He’s soft, kind, empathetic, and just all around awesome to hang out with.”

“Oh, I know that. Steven…our Steven, he’s grown to be someone more mature in the real way.” Amethyst replied.

“In the real way?” Steven asked, wasn’t sure a song would come out of the blue. Luckily for Steven, the author couldn’t write a jingle if their lives depend on it.

“Yeah. I mean, you know what is and what isn’t your responsibility. You know when someone needs your help, or when someone has something under control.” Amethyst replied and continued. “You don’t try to fix something that was already fixed by someone else. You’re supportive when you need to be, and aren’t afraid to ask for support as well.”

“You also manage time well. I bet cannon Steven hasn’t texted her in a week!” Connie stated, the old sense of annoyance and frustration rearing its head. “I mean…we text a little bit, but when am I not right by your side?”

“And not going to lie, Steven. coming from a dual black belt master in apathy, yo- I mean, they showed the kind if inattentive apathy that I can both admire and also feel repulsed.” Lapis stated.

“I…they…cannon Steven was about to leave the house without petting cat Steven…” Steven said, remembering the first episode of the night. “I was going to leave cat Steven hanging while poking their head out of a back pack, which honestly looked like it could carry more than that…I’ll say it, That looked like a purse.”

“It looked like my mom’s purse!” Connie realized in great shock. “They’re stealing purses and not petting cats that peak out of cute back packs! The monster!”

“Yeah…that…that was a pretty terrible move. And I latched myself to an angry Jasper for a year and trapped her in the deepest part of the ocean.” Lapis said, looking over at Steven. “And I know a thing to two about bad decisions.”

“Yeah…he…he kind of sucks.” Steven said, sounding depressed. “They’re turning me into a jerk. I mean, I know I’m growing up, and responsibilities, but…what really happened? I thought I was more thoughtful. Or would be more thoughtful by now. I know the Crystal gems just wanted him to have some fun and relax. They never really meant to do any harm with playing tag. I, I mean he could have just said that he doesn’t feel comfortable playing, or changing my body. But, nope, another thing I’m bottling up like a protein shake. And like a protein shake, it’s no substitute for a good breakfast, and not a good substitute for talking things out!”

“Truth!” Connie and Amethyst cheered.

“It…is wasn’t a good episode. Things felt hollow, and missing things…I don’t think that was a townie episode. It was just…an episode…” Steven said, sounding slightly disheartened. “Why so blue had a ton of subsidence, in comparison.”

“Eh…I dunno…” Lapis spoke, sounding unsure about things.

“Are you kidding me? You sang in an episode about opening up and being yourself. And with those cute, flower things…you were awesome!” Peridot squealed.

“I was irresponsible.” Lapis said. “I mean…who amongst us has watched sci-fi horror movies before?”

All but Steven raised their hands. Feeling self-conscious, he raised his hand too. Lapis wasn’t buying it.

“oooookay. A Little review. Who among us can answer this question: When going to an Alien planet, what is the one thing you DON’T do?” Lapis said, adjusting her invisible glasses. Connie’s hand shot up.

“Yes, Mrs. Universe?” Lapis asked Connie.

“Um...it’s Ms. Maheswaran…for now. Also, the first and only thing you don’t do is never touch the fauna.” Connie answered.

“Excellent. Now, what else do you not do?” Lapis asked again, and just like last time, Connie’s arm shot up. Lapis was really hoping for someone else to answer, but all she had to work with was an Amethyst who knew the answer, but wasn’t going to say it, knowing that It would drive lapis crazy. Peridot just kept looking up at her with large, star shaped eyes. And Steven, who has always avoided scary movies. She was only left with one option: Connie.

“Yeah, Connie?” Lapis sighed.

“You don’t play around with wildlife due to any germs or pathogens. Always bring your own water. And don’t ever bring anything back to the ship!” Connie said, proudly.

“Exactly…and…I dunno. Guy’s…it is just me, or did they kind of hollowed out my character, and all the things that made me ‘me’ were all erased, just to get this new Lapis into the picture?” Amethyst asked the group around her. “I mean…me, turning into a giant water warrior is my default mode. That, and just being a homebody who likes to just read books, be on the computer, or tending to the crops.”

“Yeah! Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t start shooting tiny water bullets at them, or maybe slam them into the ground at first sight.” Steven spoke.

“Wait…you really thought I would do that?” Lapis asked, hey eyebrows shooting upwards.

“Well…yeah. I think.” Steven replied, grasping at the fleeing logic he had about how Lapis would really act in the situation. In the end though, the show proved to be surprising.

“Huh…so that’s what character growth is.” Lapis said, sounding surprised. “I mean…in hindsight, and really thinking about it, that episode wasn’t too bad.”

“So…tonight wasn’t a total wash then.” Connie said, now sitting more upright, but still latched to Steven’s side.

“Yeah…not entirely. Apart from a few missing people, it was-” Steven began to say, but with those words, whatever trance Peridot was under had vanished. 

Peridot quickly looked away from Lapis, and glared at the TV. It had then occurred that the one-time Lapis had her own episode, Peridot was not there tagging along. If Connie was just annoyed with not being in any crucial episodes, Peridot would go full tier-10 feral. Before anyone knew what to do, or how to stop it from happening, Peridot leapt from the couch, and pounced onto the TV. The impact itself was enough to cause the TV to fall over. But everything beyond that was an act of wrathful violence from the angriest slice of key-lime meringue pie in the galaxy. 

“WHERE’S PUMPKIN, YOU COWARDS! WHERE THE HELL AM I?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR LITTLE PRINCESS, YOU DUMB-AS-SHIT BASTARDS!”

It took all 4 people to pry Peridot off of the broken, flat screen TV. As Lapis and Amethyst pilled Peridot back to the couch, Steven looked down at the broken television and sighed. Connie stood right next to him and looked down at all the bits and plastic pieces all over the ground.

“Don’t worry, Steven. The money I got from your dad, as well as the cash we made down at the boardwalk from playing music, could easily get us any room we want between here and Burbank. I think there’s a nice one in Kansas.” Connie spoke trying to console Steven. “Heck…if we make good time, we could stay there an extra day. Hit the spa. Laze around in the pool. Order stuff from room service. Room service, Steven!”

“I…I’m not worried about that.” Steven replied.

“Then what’s wrong, Biscuit?” Connie asked.

“This part.” Steven said, looking at the cracks of the floor boards as they magically shifted aside, and a bunch of pebbles magically emerged from the ground.

Nearly a dozen of the Homeworld pebbles had found their way to earth, and has now taken up residence in parts of his house that were mostly out of the way. Whenever something broke, cracked, torn, or just shattered, they would always come out and fix it automatically. At first, this wasn’t much of an issue. But as of now, they’re billing for any damages they have to fix. While nearly all of the pebbles had started to work on the broken TV, there was one pebble, who was listing things off, and tallying numbers. In the matter of moments, what was once a pile of plastic, circuit boards, and wires, is now a brand new TV, but with the noted difference of being a few inches larger, a sturdier TV stand, and a device that seems to have every movie and show on it. An impossible hard drive. As the pebbles all walked away and back into the holes, they pat each other on the back. Waved goodbye to Steven, and vanished into the floor boards, with only one staying behind. The short pebble held out a small piece of paper with a list of costs of what had to be repaired and improved. It came to the sum total of 1 and a half ounces of salt, and a small durian juice box, which a few of the pebbles have already began to pilfer from the cupboards. Steven looked up at the pebbles who were walking away with a very small glass bowl of salt, and a fruit juice box. As the pebbles all disappeared with their payment, Steven crumpled up the invoice and slipped it into his pocket.

“How…how long have those guys been here?” Amethyst asked, looking over at the finished TV.

“Probably as long as they’ve existed. Not sure.” Steven said, sighing. “Sorry…depressional wave. And it’s getting late. Final thoughts?”

“Snow day was heavily out of character and didn’t make sense. In fact, none of this makes sense.” Lapis replied. “Honestly…I’m not sure what YOU GUY’S are doing. We just watched an alternate universe of us being completely different and strange. How are you guy’s not freaking out?!”

“Because this is an AU, what we just saw was both ‘cannon’, and the animated version of ‘pictures taken moments before a disaster’.” Steven answered. “For instance, no one knows where pumpkin is in that AU. But our pumpkin is pink, pretty, and like a proper lady she is, is currently drinking out of the toilet.”

Pumpkin had trotted out of the bathroom and onto the couch, still slobbering from her incursion into the bathroom.

“So…you guys just watch reality, while also being the AU knock off equivalent of Cannon?” Lapis asked.

“If it helps, in this AU, you and Peri are probably a thing, while in Cannon, you’re probably living separate from each other.” Connie stated.

“Screw that! We’re the dominant species in this dimension!” Lapis said, holding Peridot and Pumpkin tight.

“So…’Snow day was a flop. How about ’Why so blue?’?” Steven asked the group.

“10/10, got to flex my powers for the first time in ages.” Lapis spoke. 

“11/10, cause Lapis” Peridot sighed.

“meh…9. Been a while since I wasn’t in a show. It was a nice little vacation. Not sure what you’re complaining about, Connie.” Amethyst responded to Steven.

“Trust me, this little ‘vacation’ isn’t all that’s cracked up to be.” Connie spoke. “After a while, you’re going to get really sick of being benched all the time. Giving it a 7. It was nice to get to see a new planet, but sucks that I didn’t get to come along.”

“hmmm…so…about an average 9. I kind of liked it too…but…I have bad feelings about something happening next week.” Steven said, thinking a lot about how some major problems are becoming more major. “So…with that…probably call it a night. Going to have to wake up early if we’re serious about going to Burbank. But…Are we serious about going to Burbank?”

Connie, Amethyst, and Peridot nodded, while Lapis gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Well…ok then. Goodnight ever-” Steven began to speak before everyone rubbed his head vigorously. Unlike the show…this doesn’t bother him much…

**Author's Note:**

> Next week: chasing the sun to Burbank, our heroes are finding that a road trip to such a place should have been more thought out. Will Connie exist in the next episode, will Steven loose his mind? Will i learn to sleep for once? and will we get more episodes?
> 
> answers are abstract.
> 
> also, side note, sorry about the numbering issue...


End file.
